Cheapskating on Thin Ice
by Maximagination
Summary: Everyone in Bikini Bottom is fed up with Mr. Krabs and his inconsiderate cheapness. It's time to fight back.
1. Snail Food, Please

Maximagination presents

Cheapskating on Thin Ice

"Meow." I woke to. Gary! I hugged Gary, and I asked him, "What's the prob, my little Gare-Bear?"

"Meow." Which roughly translates to, "I'm hungry." Since I woke up a little bit before my alarm would ring, I disabled it, got into my clothes and went downstairs. Meanwhile, I thought about Gary. He's one of my favorite things in the world, right next to work, jellyfishing, and Sandy. Did I just say Sandy? NO I DIDN'T! Sure, there have been times I've acted like a total jerk, like when I forgot to feed him because I was playing paddle-ball, or when I got that evil pet and blamed the destruction of my house on Gary. Or when I broke his shell, and made him wear Krab's head. Despite all that, I really love him. And this time, I won't forget to fe-

SMACK!

I just hit the kitchen door. I held Gary in my arms as I fell back. I opened the door, and opened up the cabinets. Nothing but cobwebs and chopped liver. Yuck!

"Gary, I don't think we have any food." I had to tell him.

"Meow?" which roughly translated to, "We don't?" I felt a teardrop roll down his… um… eyeball things. I mean, we had chopped liver, but I think it's spoiled, so I drop it in the trashcan. We both rush over to the Pet Store and grab a can of Snailpo. I went to the register and reached into my pocket for money. Wait, I don't have any money! Crud! Well, today is payday, and I've been overtiming an extra two hours. I should have enough money. Not just for Gary, but for me, for my bills, for new nets, and to go on dates with Sandy. Did I just say Sandy? NO I DIDN'T! I got Gary back home, and I ran to the Krusty Krab. But before I left,

"Meow!" Gary yelled, which was along the lines of, "Get back home and feed me!"

"Gary, I'll do all that I can. I just can't feed you right now." I said, holding back tears. I put on my hat and started to run to work.


	2. A Few, Or A Lot Short

I looked over that hole in the kitchen that separates me from Squidward's boat. 5:59 PM. After a couple seconds, I'll have finally got the money for Gary's food. Last time he had a Krabby Patty, it didn't really turn out well, so I'm trying to keep him on a strict shell diet. He's lost -1 pounds! I would talk more, but I just smelt the burn of my last patties for the day. On a last note, I also have to pays bills, like on every payday, so I might just have to settle for cheap snail food, but as long as its food. Wow, I sound so boring. I thought I was a man child, but here I am, talking about snail food!

DING!

"Alright, you land-lubbers, line up for your loot!" Krabs yelled. Me and Squidward lined up while he gave us our checks. After that, I ran straight to the bank to check it in. But on the way, I noticed something odd on my paycheck. It didn't cover the overtime hours I put in. I guess I could just go back, but the Krusty Krab would be closed. So I just kept on running to the bank until I was at the Bank.

"Identification please." The bank teller asked me. I took out my debit card. I'd go off and talk about why I don't have a credit card, but I've bored you enough. I got my paycheck cashed out, and then I got home and I started to pay for the bills I got last night. In the ends, I had- only $0.12? That's not even enough for myself, or even for my best friend, Patrick. I've been paying for his food. I wish I lived under a rock like him, because it'd be so cheap. Patrick IS a smart person. I know all you have watched him as a complete idiot, but he's actually smart. He even graduated from a community college. It's just that he's never really tried to do anything other than nothing. He's almost always at home and barely does anything out of home, unless it's with me. I also can't do anything else with this much in the bank. I don't have any nets to jellyfish with, any food for Gary, and to impress Sa- I AM NOT SAYING WHAT YOU THINK I AM GOING TO SAY!

"Meow?" Gary asked, which was along the lines of, "Food?" I couldn't bring the heart to tell him what happened. So I just sat next to him and cried. Gary did as well. Tomorrow, I am asking what was up with the low pay.


	3. Squidward and I

I really think this is not true, so I decided to go to the Krusty Krab. It was a Sunday afternoon, so Mr. Krabs would always be in his office, touching his money. Apparently, I wasn't the only one in this injustice, because ol' Squidward was already there when I went in. There was money everywhere, so my underpay is not due to no money.

"Listen, Eugene. I have a girl in my life. Her name is Squilvia." Squidward yelled.

"And what the halibut does that do to my life?" Mr. Krabs yelled, all up in his face.

"What I'm saying is I'm as close to debt as I can be! I have no money, no food, and nobody will buy my paintings!" He slammed his fist on Mr. Krabs table.

"No back sass, cashier!" Something wrong was bound to happen, so I opened my mouth to distract them.

"Guys!" I yelled. They both silenced and faced me.

"What is it?" Mr. Krabs sugarcoated. I guess with a voice so sweet like that, I should be all gullible. But then I got $0.12 in my account.

"You forgot to add my overtime to my pay. What's up?" I said in a kind voice, blocking my inner pains.

"Are you sure? You always clocked out on time. 9 AM to 6 PM every day. $7 an hour." He said.

"Something's not right." Squidward admitted.

"Yeah. Can't you add something to our pays? Like profit sharing?" Okay, I honestly don't know what the heck it means, but it has something to do with money.

"Fine! Take your stupid profit-sharing! Now go! The money hates you! Plus, I'm taking a money bath, and I really need you to get out." On the way out, I took some money while he wasn't looking. I can't believe he didn't notice. Me and Squidward walked out of the creaking floorboards of the Krusty Krab. On the way out, we walked into Jellyfish Fields, when he finally broke the silence.

"I see you have the same problems as I do." He said.

"Yeah. A couple variations, but the same." I answered.

"I actually have less than you do. But that's because you live in a fruit, which must be cheap." He chuckled.

"On the contrary. I pay a lot so it doesn't spoil." It was nice to have a little laugh, because we almost ran into a jellyfish hive.

"What extra stuff do you need to pay for?" I asked.

"You know, my pet Snellie, some art supplies, clarinet things," he responded, "and, *sigh* Squilvia. We've been together for nearly a year now, and I love her so much. What about you?"

"You know, my pet, lazy Patrick, jellyfishing nets, which I wish I had, Sandy... did I say Sandy? NO I DIDN'T!" I yelled.

"Oh, did you say Sandy? YES YOU DID!" Crap, I thought I wasn't being obvious.

"How did you know?" I asked. He's probably the first to kno- oh, wait. You can see right through me.

"You always talk about Sandy and say you didn't. That was how I was like when I first met Squilvia." Squidward stated.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I'm a bored sponge (Get it?) that once was a man child, and she's the scientist of the millennium with a blacker belt, a big income. How could she love me? She probably wants that Larry. The lifeguard, with his perfect figure, his braveness, and all those girls…" I felt my heart empty. Sounds super cheesy, but true.

"Listen, Spongey, do you think it was easy for me to become a part of Squilvia? My last date was, like, more than 5 years before, so I felt blind." Squidward had the voice of a strict person. His finger tapped me in the forehead.

"Yeah, but Squilvia was new to town. Nobody could take her." I answered. I expected an answer, but Squidward just stopped talking. Maybe there was something I didn't know.

Eventually, we found ourselves back on Conch Drive.

"Squidward, I think this was the first time we actually had a nice time." Spongebob said.

"Eh. Probably because we have no money. But it was really fun. Best of luck." Maybe what I said did have some effect. I went back home and slept immediately, with Gary in my lap. I took only three dollars, which is enough for something. I'm scared. What if I wind up like Squidward, near debt?

Actually, I already did. Mr. Krabs is being cheap, and it's taken me now to realize. Something has- NO. Something WILL be done.


	4. The First Fight

"Alright, you land-lubbers, line up for your booty!" Krabs yelled. Me and Squidward lined up while he gave us our checks. It had been two weeks since last time. Even after I snatched that money from Krabs office, ends have been hard to meet. Patrick complained of starving, despite being so fat, Gary had to settle for crud, my jellyfish nets are getting tears, and I didn't even show up on the radar of San- Did I just say Sandy? I did, didn't I. I just feel angry because I saw Sandy and Larry, walking together, right next to eachother, smiling. I talked to Patrick, and even HE thought I was making a big deal, and he doesn't know a thing about love! He said so himself!

"Here you go, you scurvy dog." I felt the paper slam into my hand. I didn't even need to see to realize it'd be a bad bill. But it was worse. It was only a couple bucks on my paycheck.

"Mr. Krabs?" I said sweetly, possibly getting a better answer.

"Yes, my sponge?" He yelled angrily.

"About my pay-"

"Listen. According to the Bikini Bottom Labor Regulations," Mr. Krabs held up the book, but dropped it because it started giving him hives. "The ability of profit-sharing added to the pay of each individual employee of said establishment get a portion of their career pay minimized to offset all the add gained by profit sharing from their original pay. It says so on that page right there." I grabbed the book, and he flipped rapidly to that page. It was right there. It didn't even look added. No glue, or tape, or staples. He continued, "Basically, I can dock you guys for profit sharing."

"But there should be more money." Squidward suggested. He has life just about as bad as me. The couple of bucks couldn't even cover water bills. And I LIVE IN WATER!

"But there is!" Mr. Krabs sent us to another page. "According to this page, in a version so dumbed down that you guys should barely get it, the amount of profit shared can be any amount, and it won't affected the pay taken from your minimum wage. The amount of money is basically for each $10 I make, you guys get .00000000001 of a penny."

"Why are you making life hell for us!" I yelled. Every stared at me, all shocked. How could that sweet guy say such a thing? That's odd, considering that time I learned that "sentence enhancer". But this time, it wasn't misleading. I said it, and I meant it.

"I should be saying that to you! You stole me money!" And thus Mr. Krabs started the first fight between his employees. You know, if you didn't count the time he used Gary to attract all the coins.

"Oh, just let the millionaire whine about three dollars!" I screamed. Fish started encircling all three of us.

"People like you are sick." Squidward glared at Krabs with his typical face.

"I'm tired of those people. You know, the ones who got all moody because of money." The bond between Mr. Krabs and I was starting to fall apart.

"You mean like you? Who became a jerk for money?" Nice one, Squidward.

"No. I mean you guys. Making dents in my bank account that seem unnoticeable at first, but become more and more until I'm "Rag Boy" once again!" Mr. Krabs took notice of all the spectators and yelled, "If you guys keep watching, you've never live again!" Every fish dispersed.

"Listen, Eugene," I said calmer. "All I asked for was money for my bills. I have so much on my plate I can handle. And debt is not an option."

"And since when was Sandy on your plate? Since when was ANYTHING on your plate?" Okay, Mr. Krabs could have said worse things and I wouldn't have cared, but for him to mention the fact Sandy wasn't a part of me? That's bad. I couldn't even think straight. I wanted to punch him so hard, but I'm looking at Anchor Abs Krabs, so it couldn't happen. To the point where I felt I couldn't control myself. I saw a fish's dropped lighter, and some of Mr. Krabs money, overflowed from the register on the floor. And so, despite being underwater, I lit the money on the floor on fire. I felt a sense of power in my body for a second or two until Squidward yanked my hand and shoved me out the door into his car. He floored it and we drove into nowhere for a few miles. Then he started yelling at me like Mr. Krabs.

"Spongebob, are you crazy?"

"I don't know. What did I do?" I asked.

"You decided to send Mr. Krabs over the edge. You have destroyed the bond between you and Mr. Krabs. And there's no way it can be fixed." He only uses that voice when something unthinkable and unbelievable happens. Because something unthinkable did happen.


	5. Ourselves Back Home

"What do you mean it can't be fixed?" I asked. Surely these kinds of thing come to an end one day. Maybe in a day, a week, or even a year, but it always happens. The boat continued driving into other places, like past the remains of Glove World.

"Let's see, shall we? You stole his money, stood up to him, cursed on purpose at him, drew an unwanted crowd, putting him in the spotlight, and burning his money." I could tell Squidward was upset.

"I just couldn't think straight. He told me Sandy isn't a part of me. Everything was fuzzy." I know he was true about Sandy, but the cold hard facts were what I didn't to see.

"I guess I could relate," Squidward said softer than his past few words. "If Eugene said something about me and Squilvia having no future, I would punch straight through his shell."

"Wait a second." I yelled. "Why did you stop talking when I brought up Squilvia?" And he just stopped talking. We just travelled in silence forever. Past Glove Universe, as bright as ever.

Past "Your New Mall", a construction site I screwed up. It looks like they never rebuilt it.

Past The Mint, a place that Krabs once flooded.

And finally, back into town. I couldn't bear the silence, so I broke the ice.

"The thing that makes me feel so weird is the feeling when I burnt his money. I felt all warm and powerful!" I looked back on what happened just some time ago.

"Maybe you're being told to face the path of rebellion." Squidward did not sound correct.

"NO! No I'm not! I've lived so simple for the past whatever-years here. Being a rebel is not me!" I yelled, again in a voice like that.

"See, you remind me of this girl. She never thought of herself as a rebel. But one day, she caused a big uprising after not wanting to kill someone. She became the symbol of the rebellion. Her name was Katfish Evergreen. The Jabberbird." Squidward's been reading his stories a bit too much again. You know, the ones he bought before the Small Depression. "I wish I could meet a girl like Katfish. You know, as a friend. But the story took place before Bikini Bottom became imaginable. She's long dead. I'm sure she is real, because this was a true story."

"I just don't see it." Seriously. What's up?

"I do. I see you as a rebel. They never realize they're rebels until they are." That story's gone to his head.

"Poor English!" I alarmed. He looked so up in the clouds, yet he was still driving. "SQUID!" He woke up and swerved away from a nearby building.

"You're a rebel!" He stated again.

"For the last time, I'M NOT!" I yelled, OOC as I just was. He slammed the brakes. Normally, that's a sign of anger. It was probably that, but also we were at his house.

"Spongebob, I'm tired of this, so let me say this one more time," Squidward started getting upset, "You are a part of this fight. No matter what you say, you're a part of it." He left the car and went inside. I couldn't process it all, so I just went inside my house.

I just sat there in my bathtub. Nothing seemed right, so I just turned on the boiling water and dumped in the rest of the bubble bath. I was just sitting there, absorbing all the water and bubbles. It felt peaceful, but I still couldn't get over the stress. After a while, I heard the doorbell ring. I decided it was time to get out. I drained out all the water, put on a bathrobe, and went down stairs. I opened the door, and I saw… Sandy? I felt so off-guard. I looked like a mess.

"Hey Sandy." I greeted.

"Hey, Spongebob. Is everything alright?" She asked. When people ask this, I think you're supposed to say yes, but I couldn't.

"No?" I answered.

"I heard rumors from Bikini Bottomites you had a bit of a scene. Is it true? I'm confused. You don't seem like yourself."

"Yeah, it's true." I felt bad. I started thinking she was on HIS side. "So much has been happening lately. He's been unfair!"

"Thanks for being honest. I don't think Larry would have done what you did up there, cause it would be against his cute, cute reputation." Now I'm thinking if she is on my side or Larry's side.

"I couldn't think straight. Everything was fuzzy."

"Don't worry, Spongebob. People are on your side." She said in a nice voice. "Mr. Krabs is breaking rules and it isn't okay. So be a little calmer."

"That's the problem." I said. "I can't stay calm because I have no money. No money for me, my house, Gary, Patrick, Jellyfishing nets, bubble stuff, asking S-" Sandy doesn't know I love her, because I've never said anything about loving her right next to her. So I tried replacing the word in the short time. "-ome people for stuff to buy, so it's hard."

"Don't worry, Spongebob." She answered. "I'll pay for you this month."

"Oh yay!" My old self rang.

"But IF," She yelled, "you get to the bottom of things. These things aren't stuff to just push aside for later. You could get in debt. Or you could wind up in a box. And there's no imagination in that. Plus, I could lose a friend." She sighed. "I hate seeing you like this. I want to talk more, but Larry asked me to come to the beach in some time."

"Can I come?" I asked.

"He asked me to be there alone." Oh no! Larry's going to hit on her!

"Please? I'll be there just if something happens and Larry isn't available. Him being a lifeguard and all…"

"Sure. Hop in." Sandy and I went into the car and we drove to Goo Lagoon. I just hope nothing wrong happens here.

NOTE: I may or may not write a chapter about the beach. Probably not.


	6. Back to Work

AN: 9 months have passed, and I finally made a new episode. I got really busy since. I've been on other sites of the web, and I've been covered in homework. I also got some writer's block, and everything kind of fell apart on . I'm trying to start up some of them, but I think I should do that when school isn't a burden. Enough of that, let's roll the footage!

* * *

Bad things did happen.

My mind is still buzzing. I prefer not to speak about what happened. Make up all you want, but I can't think straight. I figured I should've just taken the day off, but I had to stand up for myself. Sandy would get so angry at me… I need to stop obsessing over her. I lo… lo… respect her, but maybe I do too much. I feel like I owe her. Sandy's been there for me, even if she didn't like it. She's rescued me more than I've saved her. I still want to do this for her.

I started walking out the door, everything still blurry, and I went to the Krusty Krab. At least, I think I did. I think I went to the hooks, and then I walked into a building downtown. I didn't feel too good.

"Are you the guy who stood up for yourself the other day?" I turned around. It was coming from a taxiboat.

"I'm fine. Honest!" I don't think I was really that honest. I was walking into buildings I've never known about. Not healthy.

"Come on, take a seat in here." The driver opened the door for me. "It'll be on the house." I would've said no, but I didn't feel too well. I fell to the sand, and everything blacked out.

I woke up in the driver's car, feeling a lot better but still slightly hurt. We were pulling out of the city and to that restaurant. He turned around and shouted, "Hey! You're not dead! That's good."

"Jim? Is that you?" I looked at his face. The stubble, the hat on his head, and his voice just spoke Jim.

"Course it's me. I figured I might as well still make money despite being retired. After all, it feels like I'm a chauffeur!"

"Oh, I know how it's like. I'm not retired, but I know my boss has done that before."

"Yeah, retiring wasn't as good as I thought. I had so much money, my butler nearly drowned in the cash pool. It was funny! Of course, that lawsuit was no fun…"

"I wish I had money like you. I'm relying on friends to help me, and that doesn't feel good. I want to be independent."

"Good for you, kid. Listen, I see here's your work, so… bye." I walked out of the restaurant and I went inside. Everybody in the line went silent. They all stared at me intimidating. I walked down, step by step, and walked into the kitchen. That felt scary.

I guess that was it for the day. Everything went as usual, even if it felt scary. I started walking back home, but on the way home, I heard Squidward and Squilvia fighting about something. I know it was dirty to snoop, but I hid behind a wall, hearing.

"Squidward, why haven't you taken me out recently? Are you seeing others?" Squilvia sounded upset. I guess I hadn't seen Squilvia for so long, and Squidward is stuck with me all day.

"It's not that! I've had a rough schedule! I can barely pay for anything!"

"Oh, so you're busy?"

"NO! I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY! I CAN'T PAY FOR A SINGLE BARNACLE! ALL THANKS TO THAT SPONGEIDIOT!" That hurt. That seriously hurt. I peeked and saw Squilvia crying, feeling bad, but I started to cry too. Is this really my fault? My fault that I step out of line once? I thought I was doing good. Isn't this Mr. Krab's fault? He treats us like floorboards. But he's been treating us worse since I stepped out of line. But is it my fault? I ran home, and snuc k into my covers. I wanted to block everything out. It's apparently my fault.


	7. Punishment for Being Good

How did things get worse? I'm sorry, but after everything today, why should I even try sleeping?

All I wanted to do was get money. Heck, I needed money. I have to support 4 things: Me, Gary, Patrick, and my stupid pineapple. Now not only am I pinched on money, everybody is starting to hate me. Squidward is blaming me on his relationship, Mr. Krabs is about to fire me, and Patrick is starving. How did all this happen in just a month? Everybody is betraying me. The only ones I can trust are Sandy and Gary. But I guess considering what you've seen of me, I'd always assume Sandy would always be on my side. That's it. I think I've changed. Why should I act all nice now if nobody will treat me like that? I'm struggling and grinning through my buck teeth and I'm getting punished. I should get a new job.

I must be stressed, because I just said I should get a new job. That's it! I'm insane. I'm screwed. It's the end. I want to quit my job as fry cook. The problem is, what else can I do? No matter what I do, my heart's in the Krusty Krab. Whether I want to be a cook or not, I'm nothing but a cook with the worst boss in the world. He can take my money, but when it comes to my friends, I'll fight hand to claw, even if it kills me. What am I kidding? I'm hopeless. I'm scrawny. I'm a failure.

Nobody would appreciate someone like me. I'm hideous, I have no life, I annoy everyone, I live in rotten fruit, I'm loud, and I'm being punished for doing what's best. What's wrong with me? Just a month or so ago I wasn't some bratty teenager. I'm too old for that. Oh wait, that's another flaw too! Everything is falling apart. I'm done. I give up. The sun is up, and I can go to work, but I'm not. I don't care if Sandy wants me to, but there's no point, and she knows that I'm going to explode. I'm just staying under the covers.

"PLEASE COME OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

What?

"WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO BREAK YOUR DOORS OPEN!"

This is a dream.

"PLEASE EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

Dangit, it's the police. For once, they are doing their job. I'm toast now. I've broken the law for speaking up. Just nice. Juuuuuuuuusssssssstt niceeeeeeeeeeeee.


End file.
